Our Brains Gravitate Toward Comfort
We are naturally hardwired to want to do things that are easy, and avoid negative or challenging feelings. In fact, dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of pleasure, reinforces bad habits and avoidance behaviors by rewarding us for choosing comfort over challenge. So it is no surprise that beginning new routines, or lifestyle changes are hard. Our brains want to seek those easy rewards and avoid discomfort, but understanding this tendency can help us break free from destructive habits, embrace growth, and foster healthier, more fulfilling lifestyles.
Breaking Patterns & Cycles
I never will claim that I am the face of the perfect life. Shit, I always feel like there is something I can be doing more of, or add into my life – personal growth, career development, and going back to a regular workout routine. Most of the time, when we begin something we get bored or discouraged within the first few weeks. For me, I tend to come up with new and extravagant ideas on how I vision my future. What I have held on to though, is that as long as I push through the discomfort, I know I can achieve it. Even me writing this blog, and building the brand around Sprightly Life – I may not have the traction, mailbox full of subscribers right now, but I am willing to build on it and stay consistent. Anything in life that is worth working towards, as long as you don’t give up – you will get there.
This mindset can be applied to different parts of your life, but some personal experiences that came to mind when wanting to dive into this topic were firstly the people I used to surround myself with. I used to hear the term a lot, ‘people, places, and things’ when I was introduced to recovery. While drinking and using, I hung out with people who partied with me and felt a false sense of love and belonging. I truly felt as if these people were my family, and we did everything together – that is, drank and used together. This contributed to my lack of desire to not want to get sober.
Because I had not hit a place of complete surrender, it just felt more safe to be around people who normalized my behavior. I never was put in situations where we had real and honest conversations. I don’t think we ever could, because I misconstrued hours long conversations drunk and on drugs with authenticity. Regardless of how shitty or bad things got in my life, the cycle would repeat. I’d wake up full of regret, only to reach out to the same people to see who was ready to party again. I wasn’t pushing myself to embrace discomfort or take responsibility for my own happiness. Instead, I relied on others to fill a void they couldn’t satisfy.
Pain Creates Change
It’s easier to stay in familiar patterns than to confront the unknown. When I moved to a new city, re-immersed myself in recovery, and heal from an abusive relationship – I was forced to face difficult truths about myself. These truths included financial struggles, unresolved past experiences, and the loss of relationships. I had to admit to mistakes—even sober ones—and take ownership of my actions. With this in mind, I had to stop being so forgiving and understanding for others actions that hurt me physically and emotionally throughout my whole life. The confrontation of my defects was painful. It was that very exact pain I felt when I had gotten sober, that made my brain want me to take the easy way out and ‘turn off’ from reality. However, with the support of people who cared enough to tell me the hard truths, as well as put in the hard inner-work, I started to embrace discomfort and grow.
The turning point for me came when I realized that change only happens through discomfort. Whether it was hitting rock bottom after my third arrest or rebuilding my life from scratch, the pain I endured became the driving force for my transformation. I didn’t want to save money, work two jobs, or attend school full-time—but I did it because going back to my lowest points is not an option. My brain has now wired myself to stay away from that pain. That is why its true that your brain wants to keep you from avoiding pain and challenge. Over time, the rewards for sticking with these new habits became apart of my life.
Although I don’t wake up with motivation everyday, that is earned with persistence and the reminder that I am one step forward than where I was once at. So next time you reconsider that next lifestyle goal isnt achievable, remind yourself how much easier it is to take that first step. Because once you start getting the rewards, you wont ever look back.
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