Growth doesn’t happen in the same soil that kept us stuck.
I remember hearing the phrase “change the people, places, and things” when I was young, walking into recovery-based groups or sitting through release plans wherever I’d been sent as a minor. Back then, I had zero intention of changing anything. But does it still apply to us as adults when we’re serious about creating change and developing our lives and overall well-being? Absolutely.
This isn’t just a principle in recovery, it’s for anyone ready for a shift. Maybe you’ve set a goal but feel like something keeps pulling you back. Maybe life feels stagnant and you can’t figure out what’s blocking that next step. If you’re in that headspace of uncertainty, this is for you.
And let me be clear: I’m not here to say, “you’re living life wrong” or “something must be wrong with you.” What I hope you take away is how powerful your environment really is; the people, the energy, the habits, and the spaces you allow into your life. They take up room in your everyday routine, and they either build you or break you.
The People
For me, and one of the most painstaking, was the people.
I’m not here to tell someone who they should or shouldn’t hang out with. But here’s the mirror test: look at yourself, then look at who surrounds you. Do they bring out the best in you? Or do you keep replaying the same cycles with them?
I know what it feels like to invest years in people who, at the end of the day, weren’t really there. Honestly, only about one percent of those people are still part of my life today. And that’s okay. Just like seasons of the year, there are seasons of life.
This doesn’t mean ditch every friend who’s struggling. But if you notice a pattern of repeated behavior, zero accountability, or no growth at all; if every hangout feels like the same loop, it’s not wrong to want more for yourself. It took me a long time to stop carrying regret for the time and energy I poured into people who didn’t stay. Now, I just see it for what it is.
So ask yourself: who lifts you up, and who drains you? Sometimes the most radical growth move you can make is to set boundaries, pull back, and give more of that energy to yourself.
The Places
Doesn’t matter if you’re in sobriety or just wanting lifestyle change – environments are just as crucial as people.
I’ll never forget coming home for a weekend from rehab and convincing myself I could still go to the local dive bar and ‘just not drink.’ I didn’t, but the delusion that it would be different is the exact definition of insanity. I was so uncomfortable that I left early, and that night I realized that this isn’t where I belong anymore. At the time, I was still trying to prove to an ex and a group of friends that I could still ‘fit in.’ But honestly, it wasn’t me anymore.
That doesn’t mean you need to avoid every old spot forever, but you’ve got to be real about what serves your growth. A lot of the time, we hold onto places because of the memories attached. But clinging to them only keeps you stuck.
What changed my life was saying yes to new places, even if I had to go alone. At 26, I walked into my first Barry’s class with zero gym experience. That one decision turned into 200 classes, working a part-time front desk job at a new gym, training for marathons and races, and even bodybuilding. One random ‘why not’ moment opened doors I never expected.
And let’s not forget the place you spend the most time (hopefully): home. Keeping my space clean, making it somewhere I feel at peace, re-energized, and has been a huge shift for me. My home is my sanctuary – and yeah, if I’m paying rent, I might as well enjoy it.
The Things
Lastly, the things.
Objects hold energy. A piece of clothing, music, old possessions – they can all tie you to the past. Clutter eats up mental space as much as physical space.
I’ve learned in sobriety that less is more. Living within my means, rotating donations, keeping clutter low – it frees me up to live a fuller life. It’s not about denying yourself nice things. It’s about staying in gratitude, being content with what you have, and keeping yourself financially and emotionally stable.
And it’s not just about taking things away, it’s also about bringing in the right ones. Tools for growth: books (I switched from podcasts to audiobooks during my commute), vision boards (Canva works, or old-school cut-and-paste), or even simple daily habits like affordable skincare that makes you feel good. It doesn’t have to be extreme—it can start with one swap. Ice cream for a lower-cal pint. Alcohol for NA beer or sparkling water. Half the time, we’re not even craving the thing itself, just the ritual. Swap the ritual, swap the result.
Here’s where the power comes in: when you shift people, places, and things together, the momentum takes on a life of its own. That’s what happened to me. Once I started letting go of the people who kept me stuck, moving away from the places that didn’t fit anymore, and swapping out the things that weighed me down—I opened the door to an entirely new direction. One small shift leads to another, and before you know it, you’re living a life that actually feels like yours.
You don’t have to stay stuck. Change what’s around you, and you’ll change what’s inside you.
Don’t overthink it. Pick one person, one place, or one thing you’re ready to shift this week. That one move can open the space you need for your true self to grow.
And if you’re reading this in your late 20s, 30s, 40s or beyond—yeah, making friends and finding new community gets harder. But it’s not impossible. Start small. A fitness class, a book club, a recovery meeting, an online group. The point is: start.
Because when you change your surroundings, you create space for your true self to grow.
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